


Hope

by Kiwikaktus (Foreverforgotten1)



Series: have a little hope, Cass [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Divergence, Captain Bedridden, Cassian has trouble being a hero, Comfort, Crazy Jyn, F/M, Fights, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff & Angst, Hospital, Hugs, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, Kissing, LOOK KES IS IN IT, Naughty, Rebel Alliance, Rogue One - Freeform, Scarif, Short, Survivors Guilt, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Training, Violence, bipolar!jyn, broke ribs stop hugs, but sweet?, hyperspace, imperial robot, injured, mission, pilot, rogue one ruined me, she wants her friend back, stealing ships, they survive yay, they're going back, tried to make it believable lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-11 11:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8977321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foreverforgotten1/pseuds/Kiwikaktus
Summary: Some people only become heroes so they can be called a hero.Some heroes only recognise themselves as heroes when a pretty girl tells them they are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first rogue one fic but there's gonna be more because rogue one was everything I wanted and more (besides the end) (kill me) (I knew it had to happen) (but whatever)
> 
> anywayyy keep negativity to a minimum this is just to mend my broken heart and as usual, read, enjoy, give kudos, share and just do what you wanna do.
> 
> Not sure if I'm going to do more chapters but we'll see
> 
> Peace out mother-truckers

For a long time, much like many of the Med team on the Hoth rebel base, Cassian didn't think he was going to wake up.

But then he did.

And when he woke up, against all the odds that seemed constantly stacked against him, there was a girl at the end of his bed, cross-legged and sniffling.

The sleeves of her standard-issue shirt were pulled over her bruised knuckles. Dirt and sand were caked beneath her nails. Her eyes were ringed red from tears but purple crescents still resided stark against her pale skin in reminder of the sleep she'd lost. 

Cassian felt the instant urge to surge towards her, to comfort her, but the stiffness in his torso told him not to move towards the girl in case she attacked him.

After all, like K-2SO had said, Jyn Erso had a habit of being continulally unexpected.

It didn't matter, because the second the girl noticed he was no longer asleep, she launched herself at him.

"You idiot!" she cried, completely crushing him in her grasp as he coughed slightly but didn't pull away, "It took you long enough."

His ribs hissed in complaint yet his grip never waivered. He let them ache because even the harshest physical pain could be tolerated when he was near this girl.

This girl.

Jyn Erso.

The one nobody believed, but was right all along.

He remembered his orders crystal clear that day. He knew what he was supposed to do to her father - what he was supposed to do to her - and he also knew full well that if he hadn't caught her beautiful smile at the base or seen her clamber skilfully along that deck, he would've pulled the trigger.

And none of this would've happened.

She wouldn't have spoken to her father. Cassian wouldn't have backed her up. Her voice would've been lost along many but saved so many lives.

Was there another way? Would another planet have been destroyed before they got the plans? Was killing thousands worth it in the end?

Cassian pushed her away.

"We're alive."

She seemed confused, sitting back on her haunches, still hovering above him on his bed. His fingers moved to inspect the many wires and electrodes attached to and in his body; brightly coloured IVs pumping in random fluids that would fix him of his ailments in no time. 

He hoped a droid would come past soon and save him before he had to endure any further conversation with the girl who reminded him of what he'd done.

"Yeah, Cassian, we are. They got our transmission and we're alive."

He nodded, running a hand through his hair. His eyes snapped to her face, to the bruises and scratches hidden by her cascading hair. He wanted to touch her, to feel her broken parts and put them back into place but all he could feel was guilt.

"You saved me," she said thickly, "At the time I was ready to die for the cause but now I know the battle is only half won. Krennic's dead but there's more - Leia, Leia Organa, she wants our help to - "

"Stop it!" he scowled, the exertion making his chest heave, "Stop it, Jyn, I didn't save anyone. I killed thousands on Scarif and you know full well I would've killed Galen too."

Her expression crumpled slightly. Jyn's eyebrows knotted and her bottom lip stick out slightly. It was clear he'd been out for days; this clearly wasn't the reaction she'd expected.

"But you didn't kill Galen," she mumbled, "You didn't kill my father and you're not responsible for all those people. This is survivor's guilt."

Jyn reached for his hand, significantly larger than her own.

"Do you know who is responsible for the massacre on Scarif, whether Imperial or Alliance soldiers were killed?"

"Tell me, Stardust," he sighed, squeezing her smaller hand back, "You always seem to have something to say."

"The Empire," she replied matter-of-factly, "Every single Palpatine or Vader or Krennic wannabe sat in the middle of that planet killer, that Death Star."

She leaned closer, eyes alight.

"I thought you didn't care about politics, or the cause," he smiled sadly, "Seems as good a time as any to drop out and let the Alliance handle the rest."

"Don't you see, Cass? We did it! We have the plans and we're this close to taking down the whole Galactic Empire."

"We're no heroes."

Her face fell and she took a deep breath. Jyn clambered forwards sheepishly, letting her forehead drop against his. That contagious smile found a way back up to her lips as her hands found his face and tilted his chin up to hers.

"You just need to have a little hope," she grinned, then pressed her mouth to his.

Oblivious to what was going on, a Medic droid entered, loud and bustling.

"Time to check your vitals, Captain Andor - oh, I see. I will return at a later time when you are less busy."

Cassian didn't even look up from kissing Jyn to wave the interrupting bot out of the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Bedridden isn't so bedridden anymore and Ickle Jyn doesn't have time for his romance bs.
> 
> (cass doesn't like to be ignored and jyn is concerned about the universe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mixed feelings ahead.
> 
> Swear there will be action soon but I'm working on it.
> 
> Due for editing soon!
> 
> As usual, read, vote, share, comment and just have a good time

Cassian was getting stronger every day.

And it seemed that every day, Jyn was growing further away.

"Are you ignoring me?" he asked her suddenly, "Because before it all happened, you were more than willing to get into an elevator with me and now you're pretending to be interested in droid diagnostics so you don't have to."

Jyn was quiet. They'd barely spoken to each other since their impromptu makeout session in the medical bay. Her hands were full with caf for her superiors, an empty gesture to make her feel like she was still helpful.

"I'm not ignoring you. I'm just busy," she explained bluntly, "Not all of us can spend months recovering whilst we're in the midsts of a galactic civil war."

"Lighten up, starburst, Leia's not exactly going anywhere."

This angered Jyn. She turned on her heel, caf in one hand with the other extending a finger to jab him in the chest. He resisted the urge to shrink back despite the pain it caused because he didn't need more ridiculing from the girl who already seemed to dislike him.

"Doesn't it anger you? All of the stuff we did and she goes and puts the schematics in a droid!" she sighed, "Of course I want Organa back but it feels like we took two steps forward and have been dragged ten back."

Cassian, in all honesty, had been trying to distance himself from the fight. He was still recuperating from his last mission, and if he was completely truthful, was scared of going on another.

Especially when Jyn wouldn't look at him twice anymore.

"Listen, Jyn, I think you need to calm down."

"How can I? Our galaxy is in peril and she's living it up with Vader!"

Passing Rebels glanced at her but said nothing. Much like she had said, Jyn and Cassian were the true heroes of the Rogue One mission so were often excused of their paranoid and treacherous talk.

Experiences like that made people crazy.

Still, however accepting the Rebels were, they still found it odd that the rugged Captain and small daughter of Galen Erso were so ... sedentary.

Weren't they supposed to be the ones who'd found the schematics for the so-called Planet Killer? Didn't those two survive its catastrophic blast? How come they were now fetching caf and bickering in the hallway?

"I don't think it's quite like that," he reasoned, scratching his head, "I mean, she's his prisoner."

"Is she?" Jyn demanded, "Then why is she still alive?"

"Probably much to the same reason you could grow up on Coruscant relatively unharmed. Your father was useful, and in turn, Princess Organa is too."

"I feel useless here," she sighed, looking down at her shoes, "Our friends are dead, our leader is missing and where in the galaxy are those blueprints we fought so valiantly for?"

"Sounds like you're the one who needs the hope."

He felt like this would be a good time to kiss her. She was slightly raised on her tiptoes and the caf was discarded by her feet long ago. Jyn's body unconsciously radiated around his, begging for him to come closer, closer, closer and make her forget everything she'd seen.

"Yeah, well," she said, glancing away quickly, "There's only so much of it to go round. I think I'll take the stairs."

She picked up her tray of caf and began to walk away. Cassian only just snapped his eyes away from her tight khaki trousers seconds before she whipped her head over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Aren't you going to go up?" she asked, nodding to him leaning casually by the control panel, "Stupid Captain."

He gave her a wide grin, a salute, then pressed the bottom button on the console.

"Wait, Jyn - let me just say, if you're going to go to such lengths to avoid me, maybe you shouldn't take such slow walks past me when I'm doing physio. It's so hard to do push ups when you're gawking at the door."

The doors shut before she could react with pure outrage. That was NOT what she was doing in that sector.

No, she didn't walk to the other side of the base just so she could see him working out. She had to transmit some data and he just happened to be a pleasant sight on the way.

Only when nobody was looking did Jyn let a small smile crack across her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Bedridden is in bed and Ickle Jyn is setting her loopy plans in motion to get her tin friend back.
> 
> (cass wonders why a girl is stripping in her room and jyn just wants to get back to Scarif)

"I've been thinking about this whole hero thing."

Cassian opened his eyes to see first, his busted door, and second, Jyn, stripping herself of her huge coat needed to brace Hoth. She babbled and spoke for a few minutes as he adjusted to the light, sat up, then asked the one question on his mind.

"Maker! What the hell, Jyn?"

She stopped her rambling, discarding her coat haphazardly over the nearest free chair. He moved the blankets over himself a bit. First she kissed him, then she didn't want anything to do with him, and now she was in his wing.

"Oh, sorry," she said sheepishly, looking at the floor, "Can I come in?"

He blinked.

"Why not? You're already inside."

"Great!" she beamed, straightening the sleeves on her white top and walking to a side cabinet to grab a bottle of Corellian wine, "Can we open this?"

"No, it's decorative," he replied sarcastically, then ran a hand through his hair," What do you want?"

She stopped in her tracks, no longer struggling with the cap like she had been seconds before. It was a sinister grin that spread across her face as she finally opened it and began to drink straight from the bottle like a thirsty animal.

"I want K-2SO."

"You want - you want K-2?"

"I think K-2 be very helpful in my next endeavour," she explained, wiping the wine delicately from her chin, "In rescuing Leia."

Cassian laughed outright but frowned shortly after.

"Are you serious? Erso, have you had a psych evaluation recently? I could have a bot up here in five."

"It's pointless, I already know I'm sick," she feigned with a hand dramatically on her forehead, and then straightened up to shoot him a look as she replaced the bottle, "Sick of you."

"Ouch," he mocked, "My poor heart."

"I need a ship."

"A ship?"

"A ship to retrieve K-2SO from Scarif, keep up."

He contemplated picking her up and dumping her in the 'fresher. Maybe some water would sober her up and make Jyn think straight, but something also told him that she hadn't been thinking straight since Saw Gerrera abandoned her at sixteen.

"There's nothing left of Scarif," he told her dryly, "Least of all, enough of K-2SO to rebuild. Why K-2 anyway? You didn't even like the droid."

Her lips pursed and she shrugged, kicking at the floor.

"K-2 has seen the files. All of them. K-2 was plugged into the mainframe, knows everything about the Empire and specifically, the ship that Leia is on."

Cassian stared at her.

"K-2 is nothing more than a fried circuit board," he spat harshly, then softened his tone, "Force, Jyn, I don't know."

"It's really cold here, isn't it?" she sighed, changing the subject, "I hate Hoth. I'm thinking of going somewhere new, like Alderaan or maybe Tatooine."

"Both of those places aren't much, Stardust."

"You really like to piss on my ideas, don't you, Cap'n?"

"It sort of happens when someone breaks into your room late at night to try and convince you to return to the remains of Scarif to fetch the spare parts of a reformed Imperial droid they didn't really like so they can rescue the leader of the Rebel Alliance."

Jyn flopped down in the empty space next to him, inviting herself to lie in his bed even though she was still wearing thick snow boots. She stared skywards with those long lashes and bubbling green eyes and all Cassian could think was, don't make a move on her.

That is not what she needed right now.

She needed someone to talk sense into her.

"I didn't invite you. I needed a ship."

"Oh, how charming. And who's going to fly your ship, Captain Erso?"

Jyn propped herself up on one elbow.

"One part of the plan at a time," she explained abruptly, then looked down at the space between them sheepishly, "But it wouldn't be a bad thing if my ship came with a dashingly handsome pilot who knows the way to Scarif."

Cassian was about to reply with something about a loopy defected pilot who wasn't as handsome but would do the job, but shut his mouth quickly.

Bodhi was dead.

And that was that.

Jyn caught the face change and moved a hand like she was going to touch his face but thought better of it. She offered a small smile and fell back to stare at the ceiling once more.

"Say I'm crazy enough to do that. Say we go to Scarif and find K-2. What's your plan from there, genius?"

"Well, if I tell you, you'll never come with me," she smirked, closing her eyes, "So you've just got to believe."

He stared at her for a second, causing a blush to spread across her cheek. Cass thought about asking her what the hell she was doing sleeping in her bed, but, oh, force, he'd rather have her here than sleep alone again.

"Don't tell me," he sighed, "I just need to have some hope."

A ghost of a smile spread across her lips as she tugged the blankets over her.

"Rebellions are built on it."

"Why K-2?" he tried again as he closed his eyes, "I know there's some other reason."

Jyn had finally gone crazy, hadn't she? He felt something cold touch his hand and flinched, but it was only her tapered fingers slipping in between his calloused ones, and somehow that small gesture lead him to believe Jyn was the most sane one in the galaxy.

"There were a lot of things we could and couldn't do on Scarif the first time," she breathed, "We chose to save the galaxy and not our friends."

"And you're a hero for that," he reminded her with lips set in a line but not even Cassian could change Jyn's mind once she made a decision.

Jyn sighed heavily and squeezed his hand.

"We made them fight. It wasn't their battle - it wasn't their orders."

"They made a choice like we did, Jyn. Their sacrifice got us to here."

"I thought if we could just save one of them - even the one without a pulse ..."

She didn't need to finish. Cass pulled her closer, inhaling the smell of wet snow and salt that clung to her cheeks. Her heartbeat waivered under his grip and getting to sleep didn't seem to be such a big problem to the Captain anymore.

"I forgot to tell you," Jyn chirped quietly, "We leave at dawn. Goodnight!"

Cassian groaned as she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek and fell asleep within the same minute.

Jyn Erso would be the end of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos & comment if you want more :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Bedridden forces a plagued Ickle Jyn to make some friends for the jump to hyperspace.
> 
> (Cassian decides that they can't go to Scarif alone but his crew gives Jyn anxiety due to the de ja vu )

"Hey, you two! Stop right there. This U-Wing is scheduled for maintenance."

Cassian reached for his blaster but Jyn grabbed it from him before he could put a hole through one of their friends.

"Cool it. We're on their side, remember?" she reminded him, then turned with a smile to greet Dune-Lin, a mid-tier official part of the new Republic, "Ma'am."

"At ease, Erso. What are you doing here? You don't have authorised access."

The guilty pair shared a look. What were they supposed to say? They were about to go on a suicide mission to the planet the Death Star had just ruined to get a circuit board that would bring their friend back, all to suit some whim of a probably not-all-there-mentally Jyn Erso?

"Uh - ah - " Jyn fumbled, "You see - "

A smooth voice saved her from stumbling over her words, combined with a reassuring hand coming to rest on the small of her back.

"We were just going to gather our gear from the back. You know, guns, Medkits, that sort of stuff."

The ageing Dune-Lin gave them a questioning look, brow furrowing. Her greying blonde hair was slicked back into a tight bun that made it hard for Jyn to concentrate as opposed to ask how that didn't hurt her head.

"All your belongings were sent to your respective chambers when you arrived a month ago. If you would please vacate the docking station so we can continue the maintenance."

Her heels clattered as she turned away. Cass watched Jyn think for a second, then tear at something by her throat. She scrunched her hand behind her back and called out for the leader.

"Dune-Lin, ma'am, I lost my mother's necklace."

She stopped. 

"No necklace was found on the craft."

Jyn cleared her throat, bunching it in her hand and trying to swallow the memory. 

"Please, Ma'am. It's kyber crystal and I think I deserve to find it."

The older woman turned to stare daggers at Jyn.

"Deserve?" she ground out, "Deserve? You lead a small army to their deaths down there. Your contribution to this war has been small and insignificant, especially due to the loss of intel."

"That's exactly why she deserves to find it," Cassian spoke in a levelled tone, "She was surrounded by her allies yet none believed her. "Our small army" all volunteered to do it for the cause."

"And what? She deserves a crown?"

Jyn took a deep breath. "I deserve to have a piece of my family when this war took both my parents from me."

If Cassian's hand wasn't around her waist, Jyn would've fallen under the true weight of her words. The leader quietened, her hand resting on her chest to allow her deep purple robes to flow beneath, then gestured to the maintenance crew about to board.

"You have five minutes."

Cassian simply nodded and got onto the ship, whereas Jyn gave her a small sarcastic curtsy and breathed a customary may the force be with you that was a tad too sickly to be serious.

"Jyn," Cassian muttered as she took a deep breath and began to fumble with the necklace back around her throat, "Let me help you with that."

She glared at his outstretched hands which he quickly withdrew. Was it just him or were her eyes more glassy than usual?

"I don't need your help," she almost snarled in response, "I've been doing fine on my own for years."

Cassian quietened. He knew little of what happened to the orphan Erso girl in the space between being ditched by Saw and imprisoned by the Empire but he had no doubt that she'd seen and done some things.

Just like he had.

"Uh - do you want to talk about it?"

"The fate of our galaxy is in our hands and you want to talk?"

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. On board, Jyn rushed to the control panel and began to engage the ships engine. Cassian did this too but much slower, nervously checking the door every so often.

"What's wrong? Never stolen a ship before?" she joked, trying to ease some of the tension that was nearly choking them now.

He took a heavy breath.

"The last time I was on this ship, a planet got wiped out."

"An Imperial planet," Jyn noted with her chin in the air, "But that doesn't explain your nervous actions."

"We have to wait," Cass announced suddenly, flicking some switches, "They're not here yet."

Jyn went stiff.

"They? You invited a crew?" she hissed.

His eyebrows knotted together.

"Since the temperature on Scarif cooled, they formed a guard. At least two hundred bucket heads scouring the surface to stop any more intel changing hands. How else are we going to get through?" 

"Cassian, have you learned nothing?" Jyn asked, "This is going to be a repeat of the Rogue One mission all over again."

He was steady as he lowered the doors for his new crew to enter.

"Exactly. But this time? We're ending it right."

Jyn sat back incredulously. He hadn't even known about the mission yesterday yet today he was running the show. Her lip upturned slightly, folding her arms as three people piled on board and Cass raised the doors.

"Kap-Nu Faren, Cora Bur'il and Kes Dameron, I would introduce you to this lovely lady but the whole galaxy knows who Jyn Erso is. Jyn, these are our crew."

The tallest of them all, wearing a black cloak with a blaster prominent on his waist, nodded at Jyn before slipping into the co-pilot seat.

"I worked with your father long ago," Cora, the only female, noted, "His death was not for nothing."

Jyn pressed her lips into a thin line of appreciation as Cora strapped herself in a free seat. The last of them, wearing a oversized leather jacket and a visor, stared at her apprehensively.

"I'm only coming to make sure you don't jeopardise the whole future of the Resistance."

"R-right," Jyn replied, "How long until we're out of here?"

Below, Resistance allies began to notice the whirring engines. Dune came into view through the front windscreen, her robes billowing around her. Fellow Rebels picked up their blasters apprehensively, but what were they gonna do?

Shoot them?

"Kap-Nu, set the coordinates. I want to be in hyperspace before they decide that shooting us is a good idea."

"Preparing for the jump," Kap-Nu announced, pulling on a lever as the ship became airborne and raced out of the port, "Hold onto your seats."

"No need," Kes bragged, "This has nothing on my usual ventures."

"Sit down, Dameron," Cora sneered, "There are no ranks on this ship."

It was quiet as the crew stared at each other. The bright blue laser-like abyss outside signalled that they were fast approaching that strange dimension that made space travel instantaneous. 

"No, that's alright, I get that," he muttered, then after a few seconds, added, "But if we did have ranks, mine would be Sargent."

Jyn put her head in her hands.

"At least he won't be missed," she muttered, but as usual, only Cass heard, "So when we return crew-less nobody will care."

He let out a little snort to cover up what they were both thinking:

There was no way any of them were going to come back from this alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays!
> 
> This was a bit of a short filler chapter becaUSE STUFF IS COMING.
> 
> also don't mind bipolar Jyn. Nearly being blown up does that to people.
> 
> Comment your opinions of the story so far, I love to hear from you guys.
> 
> Keep it light, keep it festive, and keep shipping these two until the end of time.
> 
> Christmas peace-out mother-truckers


	5. not a chapter

Hi guys,   
I'm back at school so updates are going to be infrequent as I try keep up with that. I just wanted to write this to say I'm still here but obviously otherwise engaged.

Comment down below if you do want more from me because that will definitely determine how often I update.

As always, hope everything is well with you guys, that Rogue One didn't cut you up too much and that you're all having a lovely new year!

xx


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